I'm still in the program, thankfully, it's all just online now. I've been in an extensive treatment program for two months now to help me manage my mental health, and it has been a good experience. I have resources in NYC that I didn't have in Seattle. I'm currently staying in a friend's home somewhere in Brooklyn, where I finished this song. I worked on this song in many different places, starting in Seattle and eventually ending up in New York City. But it became important to me over time to find that I had some sort of agency in taking care of the mirror if I wanted to, controlling what could be seen in its reflection, or at least understand that this was something I could do. Some days I see good things, some days I don't. Some days I like that it's there, some days I don't. I like to think of this song as one of the many mirrors in that relationship, allowing one to see the other, in all of its good, and all of its bad. I felt as if my struggle with defining my music mirrored my own struggle with defining my life, my womanhood, and my ability. It felt hard to know what to do, but I continued to work on it when I could, when I was able to, and as time went on, I started to imagine something like a little box being built in front of me, to hold any intention I could have in writing anything at all. I wrote this song over the course of a year, while I found myself struggling with finding any identity for anything I was doing.
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